Make this go on forever
by annekarly
Summary: "I can't be as sorry as you think I should. But I still love you more than anyone else could" You broke her, over and over. And shamelessly, you expected forgiveness? AH/ExB
1. Prologue

**Hi everyone! My name is Annie and this is my first fanfic. I had this idea in the back of my mind since a while ago, and just yesterday I decided to give it a try. I hope you guys like it, and I hope you forgive my lack of vocabulary. English is my second language but I promise I'll try my best !**

**This is a song inspired fanfic, by the band I have a huge crush since I was 10 : Snow Patrol. The link to the song is in my profile.**

**Without further ado**

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters. Me and my OCD own the plot.**

***Giggles nervously and hides***

Pain.

Excruciating pain.

Leaving you numb.

Holding on to your body. Every fucking inch of your body.

Do you remember? _Yeah, you do._

It hits you in the face. Like a ton of bricks.

**Pain.**

That's what SHE felt. Not even compared to yours.

Your pain was a joke.

Your pain _now_ is a joke. _**Your life is a sick, sick joke.**_

You killed her, remember?

Then comes a knock at the door. They are looking for you.

What now? Run?

No, you can't even get up. Hide? Yeah, as mentioned before, you can't even get up. Pretend you're dead? That's a good idea, you've been pretending it for the past weeks. If you're lucky enough you probably will make God mad and he will really kill you (why hadn't he done it before?). They will find you, shed some tears, call the police and turn their back. Like they always have. You hear your brother's voice. You open your mouth to speak, but then realize you don't even want to answer. There is no reason to worry anymore. You think about your mom. She sure is crying outside, but not because she is a loving mother who is worried for her very much broken and fucked up son. She sure is crying cause she won't get the chance to brag in front of her friends about his son 'the doctor', 'the famous surgeon'. She doesn't love you. Your dad doesn't, either. He smacked you every time he could when you were growing up. And Emmett…his voice again. Wait, is that his voice? Or is this another hallucination?

Emmett loves you. He does? Probably he _did_, but not anymore. Not after everything that happened. No one's ever loved you.

Just her.

She loved you and you broke her. **You killed her.**

You hear the steps closer now. The door opens and your eyelids close automatically. If you're not lucky and you don't die, you'll wake up either behind the bars or locked in a white room with your hands tied up your back.

After a loud bang of the door slamming at the wall you hear an "EDWARD!" you never thought to listen to again.

**So there's the prologue, I'll post Ch. 1 in a few hours :D**


	2. Chapter 1

**__So here is the first chapter, it's kind of crappy, but it will get better, I promise.**

**Disclaimer: SM is the boss and owns this characters.**

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><p><em>Please don't let this turn into something it's not<em>

_I can only give you everything I've got_

EPOV

It all started senior year in high school. The last year spent in the hideous town of Forks, Washington. Even though I liked Forks, being my hometown and all, I really couldn't wait to graduate and go off to college. My family seemed 'beautiful' and 'perfect' to the outsiders. My father, Carlisle Cullen, the head doctor in the tiny hospital of Forks, may seem like the perfect husband and dad. My mom, was the good looking wife, with excellent taste and excellent manners, surrounded by friends and always smiling.

Only Emmett and I knew the truth. My father was abusive. My mom was definitely bipolar or had some kind of mental illness. They only cared about the money, about people saying nice things about them. Maintaining the spotlight in the, also tiny, Forks' socialite. And when things didn't go the right way, Dad would beat us up to dissipate his anger, and mom would yell things like "I wish you were not my son" followed by 'I hate you' and other swearing. When we were little it did hurt, but when we became teenagers we really didn't care anymore.

Because of that, I was kind of a loner. I only had one friend, besides my brother obviously. I met Jasper Whitlock when we were little kids, kicking sand at the girls in the playground of elementary school. He became my best buddy, my partner in crime. Along with my brother Em, who was two years older than us, we became the 'Tres Amigos'. When Emmett left for college it just ended up being Jasper and me. And everything was alright. Of course, until he laid eyes on Alice Brandon.

Alice was nice. Maybe a little hyper. Ok, VERY hyper and talkative all the time. But I liked the girl. He was my best friend's girl so I had to put up with her and her non-ending conversations. Obviously, she started sitting with us at lunch. After a week or so I started feeling like the third wheel. But then, in what I thought was a usual lunch at plain old Forks High, I met _her._

The second thing that came to my mind after I saw her (the first: how beautiful her face was and the depth of her perfect chocolate brown eyes) was that how could I been so blind and not notice this girl before? Have she always been here? Is she new? I couldn't form coherent thoughts, nor sentences. I just looked at her, not sure if I was drooling or not. Alice was bouncing up and down and giggling as usual, as she dragged her towards the table.

"Jazzy, Edward…this is my friend Bella, she just moved here from Arizona" she smiled looking back at her "Bella, this is my boyfriend Jasper"

"Nice to meet you Bella" Jasper smiled at her and hold out his hand, which she politely shook.

"And, this is Edward " Alice smiled at me in a weird way. Then _she, _Bella looked at me and I knew I was doomed.

I, Edward Cullen, was eternally in love with Isabella Swan.

We spent every day together after that. She became my friend. We talked about everything, we laughed. She made me feel complete. Whole. She made me forget about the fucked up life I had, about my fears, about my shitty parents. She was everything.

Everything.

Since that day, I decided I would be his man, his rock, his shoulder to cry on. Everything she'll ever needed. I promised to surpass every fear and every doubt I had, just to make her happy.

"I'll be a better man, i'll become a doctor, she'll marry me...I will always protect her" I told Jasper, very sure of myself.

He looked at me inquisitively.

"I'll get her dream house and we will have 4 kids..." I trailed off hearing Jasper's laugh.

"What's so funny?"

He shook his head.

They say that if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.

Well, _He_ was definitely rolling his ass all over the floor laughing that day.

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><p><strong>Hope you like it...the next chapters will definitely have more dialogue.<strong>

**Read and review :)**


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